Ready, Steady, Go

Well the cherry tree is blossoming. It's got to be at least 65 degrees in the sun today. Just took a long walk with hubby. I'm not at work. Life is good.

Positive news from my friend up North. I got some counseling referrals and emailed them to her. She responded positively with thanking me for my caring and concern. I'm not the only friend of hers that has suggested therapy and she is seriously considering it now. I hope she goes for it, but I have done what I can do and can only sit back and be supportive.

I am readying myself for a trip to visit family next week. I'm not going because I want to, but out of a sense of obligation. My mother is having health issues that are simply related to old age, and I feel it necessary to "check up on" them. I would rather be going to have fun with friends or have a vacation. This feels more like work, and I'm struggling with it. I don't know what I'll be doing when I get there. There might be snow. It's bound to be colder than here. I'm trying to achieve a calm attitude...and really...it's only five days. It just never feels like it's the right time to leave.

I hate to leave my husband for five days right now, when we are getting along so well and enjoying each other so much. He doesn't want me to go either, but he understands my need to do this right now. There is no better time. I'm hardly working right now, I may as well take advantage. The stress I'm feeling over this trip is immensely disproportionate to reality. I have aging parents and that's a fact of life I cannot change, but for some reason it overwhelms me. I take it to my therapist, and we talk about the little kid in my head that keeps screaming I don't wanna go! We are going to nurture that little kid and make it OK, at least that's what she tells me.

I've turned this into a gloomy Saturday post and that was not my intention. I'm giving the rest of this day over to relaxing. I have a book, a dog, and sun streaming in the windows. Hubby and I have no plans tonight other than to make dinner together and hang out. The grunty pug dog is staring at me right now, waiting for a snuggle. For today, life is good. I will worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.